Posted: Tue., Oct. 22, 2002, 4:04pm PT
 
My Dinner With Ovitz
 
 
(Short film; 12 min.)
 

 
David Geffen - David Goodman
Barry Diller - Jake Austin
Ron Meyer - Barry Shay
Michael Eisner - Gregory Daniels
Michael Ovitz - Kerry Burns
Steven Seagal - Colin Patrick Lynch
Joe Eszterhas - Dave DiPino
 

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By MICHAEL SPEIER
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The gay Mafia fires back in "My Dinner With Ovitz," a gonzo short making its way to those who still have it in for the ex-CAA topper. Re-creating one of "The Godfather's" most famous scenes -- Michael Corleone dines with and then whacks Virgil Sollozzo and Capt. McCluskey -- pic is the most buzzed-about underground project since Trey Parker and Matt Stone's "The Spirit of Christmas." As whipping boys, Michael Eisner, Ron Meyer, David Geffen and Barry Diller are skewered quite nicely, while Steven Seagal steals the show. No, really.
It's not quite Jack Woltz and a horse head, but after Eisner awakens to a decapitated Mickey Mouse, he takes a poolside meeting with his posse to plan Ovitz' sudden "disappearance." Seems they're freaked out over the headless doll and can't handle the superagent's recent Vanity Fair comments blaming the industry's key players for his downfall.
After pitching a musical version of "Showgirls" meets "Burn Hollywood Burn," Joe Eszterhas agrees to drive, and the Geffen-Ovitz showdown takes place at The Mother Lode, a West Hollywood bar that serves as the setting for a stop-the-madness discussion. Funniest bit comes when Seagal asks for veal parmesan -- "hold the cheese" -- and instead is served a plate of nachos. According to Ovitz, his karate instructor is too stupid to tell the difference.
Director-writer Steve Young's cheap-o production values aside, there is something very charming about "Dinner" due to its downright bitchiness; Geffen calls UTA a bunch of "shmucks" and claims that the trades are on his payroll. But it's even snarkier when it hits close to home: Geffen wants assurances that Ovitz, having already talked to Vanity Fair, won't now talk to GQ or worse yet, Peter Bart.
The truth hurts.
 

 

 

 

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